Blue Moon
by Sarah Victoria Cullen
Summary: Oh this is not good. Not at all. Then again...things might just turn out better than I ever expected. If J.D and I can just get out of this mess alive...that'd be awesome! (Re-written with the awesome A.J Scarlet!)
1. Chapter 1

**And because I am crazy, I have decided to re-write Blue Moon. A.J has agreed to be my co-writer or whatever for this. Why? Because my muse hit me and decided that this would be funny to do. LOL. The beginning is going to be fairly the same, just with A.J's character of J.D. Right. I don't anything else except for Tab and any twists in this story that do not occur within the game. As I said before, J.D is A.J's, not mine. ^^**

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This seriously had to be one of the weirdest days of my life! No, honestly. How in the hell did I wind up in this completely screwed up situation? Oh right…I decided to turn on the Wii to play a game with one of my best friends, , and we both wound up getting transported into said game. Why? Beats the hell out of me. I really don't have the time to contemplate on the reasoning as right now we're running away from a pack of T-virus infected dogs. And if you hadn't guessed it right now, let me spell it out for you: WE'RE IN THE FIRST RESIDENT EVIL GAME! Yeah, talk about messed up. I would use more crude language, but as of right now I'm a little busy trying to find a safe place to hide. Well, both me and J.D here are trying. It's not easy with a thick fog like this swarming around. And I'm sure the scenery would be quite lovely too…ACK! FOCUS YOU MORON! RUN!

"Oof!" I groaned as I tripped over a log. I got to meet the lovely little old ground with that little mishap and I must say it is quite dirty. Oh, good grief what in the hell is with the damn jokes?

"Tab!" J.D called out, turning to help. "Get up!"

I tried, with no success. "I…I can't!" I may have sounded scared, but actually I was greatly pissed off! "GODDAMMIT!" Oops, now that wasn't smart. Screaming out like that as I tried once again, unsuccessfully, to get my happy butt up off of the ground. "Son. Of. A. BITCH!" Right, we'll go straight to the profanity! Seemed like a perfect time to do so. At least to me anyway.

J.D ran to my side, slinging one of my arms over her shoulders and forcing me to rise. Hurt like Hell to do so, but this pain would be nothing if we wound up getting turned into doggie chow. Yeah, I'm not too fond of that particular idea. Of course as luck would not have it the second we tried to move we found ourselves surrounded by a pack of mutts. Oh, great. Lovely way to die.

"Shit," J.D whispered. I was inclined to agree as well. This was not good. "Now what?"

Well, screaming sounded like a damn good idea. Stupid, pathetic, but a good idea. I didn't voice this out however as it would only get me hit in the head. I don't need any more brain damage right now, thank you very much. But Lady Luck seemed to have returned to us because just as one of those lovely little pooches tried to jump at us a gun shot rang out and said dog fell to the ground. A few more shots rang out that caused the other dogs to back the hell off. Well, that was just freakin' weird.

J.D's eyes narrowed a little. "Please tell me that's not who I think it is?" she questioned as we saw some people emerge from the fog.

"All right, I won't tell you." I stated, wincing a little as I shifted. Damn leg really needed to heal right about now.

I think my sister here almost started hyperventilating as I felt excitement rush through her being. I do so hope that she doesn't go around acting like she's high or else this could get weird. Then again, it would be funny, so might as well have her act like an idiot and get my kicks where I am able.

"Are you all right?" Jill Valentine asks when the rest of the S.T.A.R.S Alpha team gets to us. Well those that are here on the damn ground. Brad when I meet that idiot is gonna get a real smack down from me. And I do believe we were just asked a question.

_**You're not gonna be a smart ass are you?**_

I had to hold back a grin. _I was thinking about it._

"Well, as far as I can tell," I stated, not bothering to cover up the fact that I was injured. "However, this might need some medical attention at some point," I add, pointing to my injured leg.

J.D rolls her eyes. "We're all right, thanks to you guys."

I hope she doesn't fan-girl on me. Oh Hell, Chris and Wesker just came into my line of sight. Well, damn! Both males look really freakin' good in reality! I might have to jump one of them.

_**OH, no! Tall, dark and handsome is mine! You get Blondie.**_

Well, that didn't seem so bad. _Happily!_

"Are you sure you're all right?" Chris asks. Didn't these guys pay attention to what I said just a second ago?!

I grin, finally letting my smart-ass side take control. "Oh, just peachy! Other than the fact that I can't really move my leg at the moment, everything is fine. Vodka anyone?"

I hear J.D laughing in my head. _**Good one.**_

_Thank you, my dear sister!_

"Listen," Barry began, "We can discuss this later, right now we need to get to safety."

Right, safety. There is no such thing as that in this forest. They are gonna learn the hard way. Except for Wesker that is…then again, if I have my way he will learn the hard way. As long as J.D and I are here, we might as well have some fun and screw around with the plot just a little. Now that would be a great idea! I'm sure I can get her to agree with me. Why? Because I am feeling this unparalleled need to make some drastic changes. I need to make sure that Chris and Jill don't make it to the lab at the end. No, I am not going to kill them…just make sure that they don't go down there. J.D can help with that I am sure. Besides…I still need to figure out how to keep Barry from going to the Dark Side. Perhaps I should bribe him with cookies?

I sigh, "Fine. Someone mind giving me a lift?" I think I nearly fainted when Wesker just scooped me up and ordered everyone to head out. Yeah, I may jump him when this is all over or maybe before. Who knows? J.D nearly started cackling like a moron when she noticed the state of my blushing face. I may hurt her later on.

It didn't take all that long to get to the mansion, well until those damn mutts came back and forced everyone to run faster than they were. Running for your life does wonder to the mind. Trust me, I just about started quoting George Carlin! I was so tempted to do so as the man made more sense than most of the rest of the world.

"We're safe!" I exclaim, allowing myself to be removed from Wesker's arms and falling over onto the floor, kissing it as I did so. Yuck! Needs dusting or some kind of cleaning.

"Um…I'm pretty sure this isn't safe, Tab."

I roll over onto my back, point at the ceiling and say, "Let me stay comfortably in the state of innocence and stupidity. I do believe right now I deserve it for I fear that we'll all be in grave danger."

I felt several eyes on my form. Glorious! Werewolves so do love being stared at. Not! I'm sure a few of them were wondering just what I was talking about. As if I'd tell them. I ain't that freakin' nice or dumb.

"You all right?" J.D asks as she notices that I keep my eyes firmly slammed shut. I didn't want to open them as I knew they would be gold at the moment.

I shrug.

I felt a hand on my forehead. Opening my eyes a little, I see Jill wearing a concerned look before I close them again. "You don't have a fever…I think."

Right, werewolves have a real high body temperature, so it'd be a little hard to figure it out. "Ya for me," I mutter, wishing to heavens that it wasn't so damn bright in this place as well.

J.D knew what was wrong, and came over, placing something over my eyes. "That better?"

Sunglasses. Nice, they're the same ones I wore just before we played the game after getting into a fight with a bunch of morons on our way home from the movies. "I could make so many jokes right now," I said, sitting up. "But I won't."

"A first for you," J.D mutters. I toss a half-hearted glare in her direction.

Chris stepped forward, causing me to look up. "You need those?"

I nod, "Yep. My eyes are a little sensitive to light." Partly truth…but other than that it's a big fat lie! "I'll be fine in a minute." Maybe.

Before more could be said, a gunshot rings out. I almost jumped at the sound and I hear a chuckle in my head. J.D is getting a kick out of this, but I can tell that she's a little worried about me. It's all right, I'm still waiting for her to go into total fan-girl mode.

"What was that?" Jill asks.

I grin, I can't let this one go either. "Sounded like a gunshot to me, but I could mistaken. Must've been a belch." J.D smacks me upside the head. "OUCH!"

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**That's all I got. Yeah, it starts out the same as it did last time, but not to worry, the story will not be the same. It will be different! I promise you!**


	2. Chapter 2 (JD)

**Chapter 2: Need to lay off the sweets**

I looked around for a moment, and I think my entire body started to vibrate in excitement. Oh man this is so friggin' trippy! Spencer's mansion! Are you kidding me I'm in survival horror heaven! Oh there is much wrong with me, you'll see what I mean soon. I deadpanned and looked towards the double doors leading to the dining room.

"I get the distinct sensation the gun shot came from over there, dearies."

"Um, right..." Chris drawled and arched an eyebrow. "Could it be Barry?"

"Oh no," Jill sighed, thinking the worst.

Well, since we are in a game might as well have some bleeding fun with it right? RIGHT?! Yeah I thought so. I started to hop up and down like a willy wabbit on crack. "Ooh let me, I wanna go check it out! Lemme, lemme!"

Tab fought the urge to face palm in front of everyone. What? I poured too much sugar on my tea before Tab turned on the bloody Wii. Sugar high isn't a crime... Is it? Shit if it is then I must be in the top of FBI's most wanted list. Shit! Now I have to go into hiding, fall off the grid so the Feds can't find me. Ooh I can find a tropical place to lay low and spend my days in a hammock sipping out of coconuts with umbrellas on them. Damn, Umbrella!

_**Wow, I am revoking your sugary drink privileges**_.

I started to tear up and jut my lip out like a toddler. _But I like my sugar_.

"You don't even have a weapon," Wesker pointed out, breaking my concentration on Tab's moods.

"Says you, bro," I reached behind me and pulled out a Beretta. Ha talk about talking out of your ass! No! Don't misunderstand me, I didn't literally pull it out of my ass. It was stuffed into my waistband you sick buggers.

**Hey where did **_**that**_** come from?**

I shrugged and beam an evil grin towards Wesker, "Now can I go shoot something? Please, oh pretty please with hair gel on top!"

"What?" He arched an eyebrow.

"What? You can't honestly expect me to believe you wake up with greased back hair every morning."

"GO! Just go already," he pinched the bridge of his nose. Chris and Jill exchanged weird looks.

"I'll back her up," Chris said as he readied his gun.

**Oh yeah, leave **_**me**_** to guard the Sandwich**.

My grin widened almost to Cheshire Cat proportions and turned while tossing my jazz fingers wave over my shoulder, "Toodles toddlers!"

Toodles? Yeah I'm freaking high.

_**Ya' think?**_

I skip to the doors and wait for Chris to get over the realization he just sentenced himself to death by irritation. Aw, hey it beats my usual rage consumed self that's for bloody sure!

**A/n: Yay another collaboration! This should be fun as a more light, dumb side to JD is rearing their loopy head in this one apparently lol. Wonder how long the cast can take these two before shipping them to the loony bin.**


	3. Chapter 3 (Tab)

**Chapter Three: The loony bin sounds more logical**

I just stood there watching my best friend/sister go off towards the dining room whilst humming 'Elmo's World'. Really, I thought she hated that red puppet, but it looks like I was wrong. Seriously, next time I'm making sure to hide the damn sugar from her when she comes over because I soooo don't wanna have to do this again. I can almost feel my left eye twitching as she begins the humming again when she and Chris vanish into the room. I almost felt sorry for the poor guy. He had no idea whatsoever of what he just got himself into.

"Is she all right?" Jill asks once the coast is clear.

I blink a few times as I can still hear her humming that damn theme in my head! "I don't think she's the one you need to worry about…" I trail off, I'll let them think it's Chris. Hell, I know the real person that they need to worry about and I'm standing right next to him!

"We should all split up," Barry says. "Might find some clues as to what's going on."

Great! Who am I gonna get stuck with?! Advisory, I'm going alone.

_**You sure that's a good idea? ~ **_J.D sang in my head.

I so want to throttle her right now. _It's fine. I can have my own fun without all the damn drama…or too much of it anyway._

I grin, pulling out my own handgun that I don't even remember having! "I think I'll go solo!"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Gotta love the Sandwich. She worries too much. It'd almost be sweet if it didn't irk me a little. I'm used to doing this kind of thing alone.

I nod. "Oh, I'm sure! I'll be fine. Trust me; I know what I'm doing…" And unfortunately, I do too. Well, might as well, get this over with. I turn towards the stairs. "I think I'll start with the back. Might be something interesting there." Yes, I am an idiot in action.

"All right," Wesker replies and I swear they are all watching me go…but this guy seems a little more intense in the staring. I may have to jump him later on down the line. Right. Let's get to the shooting!

"Jill and I will take the upstairs as well," Barry states. I'm not sure what happened after that as I entered that large steel looking door to the outside area. I shiver as I notice all the damn headstones. Yeah, I really love cemeteries! Hence the sarcasm people!

Glancing around I take the stairs to the left—they were the only ones there after all—and descend towards the possible fun. I didn't hear any moaning, which confused me a little as I know in the normal and hard versions there are at least two zombies roaming around this area. But nope, all I see are tombstones and more tombstones. Nice. I may dance back here as I seem to be alone in this little party. Pity, I was hoping for some action. Ah well…I ain't too disappointed as I find that the area where you put in the Green Arrow head is already open. Should I go down into Hell? Why, yes, I think we shall. Might prove to be interesting after all.

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**Yes it's short. I may wind up doing several short chapters for this story whenever I'm lacking in sleep—which happens quite a bit anymore. LOL**


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